Love like a dog

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If you have a dog, see if you can catch them trying to lick the face or hands of someone who is sad or upset. Point out to your children that pets can sometimes set a good example of being sensitive to the needs and hurts of those around us.

Brainstorm together and come up with a list of signs that indicate a person may have inner hurts. For example, if a family member who is usually talkative is very quiet, that can be a sign that they are upset.

Discuss ways that you might console a distressed family member, and have each family member share ways they would appreciate being encouraged. Licking a person is not recommended (unless you are a dog)! But a hug, a hand on the shoulder or a pat on the back is a great way to encourage someone.

Relevant Scripture

1 John 4:21 “And this commandment we have from Him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”

Seeking God’s heart

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A Celtic prayer

Call:  Lord . . . open our eyes . . .
Response:  May we see those around us. Help us to notice those who are alone, hurting, and in need of prayer.

Call:  Lord . . . open our hands . . .
Response:  Make us generous people. Create in us a giving spirit, ready to meet needs as we are able. Help us not to wait only for opportunities to be heroic, but to respond to the needs that are put before us.

Call:  Lord . . . guard our lips . . .
Response:  May we speak the truth, but always in love. May we be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. May our speech be filled with praise for You, and encouragement for one another.

Call:  Lord . . . guard our hearts . . .
Response:  May we steer clear of anything which has the power to damage and destroy. Curb our selfish desires and protect our homes and our relationships.

Call:  Lord . . . break our hearts . . .
Response:  May we look at our neighborhoods, county, city, and world with Your eyes. Break our hearts with that which breaks Yours.

Call:  Lord . . . bend our knees . . .
Response:  When we need guidance, may we look to You. Make this church a house of prayer.

Call:  Lord . . . wet our eyes . . .
Response:  May we be a tender people. Help us to pause long enough to listen to each other and to carry each other’s burdens.

Call:  Lord . . . use our feet . . .
Response:  May we be willing messengers of the Gospel, quick to testify of Your mercy, goodness, and grace.

© 2008 Greg Hochhalter & Murray Decker. Used with permission.

To create your own prayer, read each “call” in the example Celtic prayer and ask your children to suggest a “response.” You can also use the questions for discussion as prompts to inspire ideas. Here are some suggested responses for your prayer:

Call:  Lord . . . open our eyes . . .
Response:  to see those around us who are sad, lonely or in need.

Call:  Lord . . . open our hands . . .
Response:  to share the things we would rather hang on to.

Call:  Lord . . . guard our lips . . .
Response:  from saying unkind words.

Call:  Lord . . . guard our hearts . . .
Response:  from being selfish.

Call:  Lord . . . break our hearts . . .
Response:  with the things that make You sad.

Call:  Lord . . . bend our knees . . .
Response:  we want to pray for those who need You.

Call:  Lord . . . wet our eyes . . .
Response:  we want to cry with those who are hurting.

Call:  Lord . . . use our feet . . .
Response:  to carry blessings to others.

Questions for discussion
  • Who would God want us to notice?
  • What would God want us to share?
  • Would God want us to share only big things or small things?
  • Is there anything happening in our home that would make God sad?
  • What are some things God wouldn’t want us to say?
  • What do we have a lot of that we could share?

The mercy rule

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The mercy rule works like this: Typically, in the game of Trouble or Sorry!, when one player lands on a space occupied by another player, the official game rules dictate that the player who was already on the space must give it up and return to the start.

The mercy rule comes into play when someone lands on a space already held by the player who is the furthest behind in the game. If you land on the player who is least likely to win, you simply take the space on the board behind them instead of sending them back to the start.

After the game, or during your next trip in the car together, use the discussion questions below to introduce your children to some real-life applications of the mercy rule.

Pray with your children, asking God to help you be a family who practices the mercy rule at all times – not just during family games.

Questions for discussion
  • Do you know what it means to “kick someone who is down”?
  • Can you think of some real-life examples of people who are hurting or “down”?
  • How can we apply the mercy rule in each of these situations?
Relevant Scripture

1 Peter 3:8 “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”

James 3:17 “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

Solution sleuthing

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When we live and work closely with others, we often need to cooperate. In everyday situations, whenever we are around other people, we need to consider how our actions affect those around us.

Brainstorm together about situations where you need to cooperate, both inside your home and outside your home. For each situation, come up with a creative and cooperative solution. The first table provides an example.

Cooperating as a family

Family situation

Creative solution
During a long trip, you stop at a gas station because everyone needs to use the washroom. To decide who gets to visit the washroom first, invite family members to express their need on a scale of one to 10. The person with the most urgent need (10) goes first.
Two people want to heat up their snack in the microwave.  
One person has the fridge door open. A second person can’t get past to access the pantry.  
One person is washing dishes. A second person wants to pour a drink of water from the faucet.  
One person wants to go outside, but a second person is blocking the doorway while putting on their shoes.  
Someone has an itchy spot on their back that is just out of reach.  
Someone is doing the laundry and needs help folding clean sheets.  

 

 

Cooperating with strangers

Public situation

Creative solution
Two people reach for the same bunch of bananas at the grocery store. One person says, “Oh, excuse me. Please make your choice first. I can wait.”
Just as you come to the end of the aisle at the grocery store, you almost run your cart into someone who is pushing their cart in the opposite direction.  
When you are driving along the road, one lane suddenly ends and all vehicles must merge into a single lane.  
Two people arrive at the fast food order desk at the same time.  
Two drivers want the same spot in a busy parking lot.  
While hiking on a narrow path, two families meet, each heading in opposite directions.  
Someone is struggling to lift a heavy box into the trunk of their car.  

Practice phrases you can say to let others know that you are willing to cooperate. Here are a few ideas:

  • You go ahead; I can wait.
  • You go first; I don’t mind waiting.
  • I’ll wait my turn.
  • Would you like me to give you a hand with that?
  • Can I get that for you?
  • After you . . . (with a gesture encouraging the other person to go ahead)
Relevant Scripture

Mark 9:35 “And He sat down and called the twelve. And He said to them, ‘If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.’ ”

Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

 

 

One in the spirit

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Singing with a group or playing in a band is a form of cooperation. One person who is off beat or out of tune can ruin the whole song. Similarly, one uncooperative person can make a whole family miserable.

To reinforce the value of cooperation, watch an orchestra playing together and learn about the different instruments. If you get the chance, listen to how each instrument sounds alone and how beautiful they all sound when played together.

For some hands-on music making, learn the song We Are One in the Spirit and sing it together as a family. You may want to play along on your own musical instruments as you sing.

Note: See the kick-off craft section of the Harmony lesson for some simple musical instruments you can make at home.

I spy cooperation

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When you are out and about on errands, watch for people who are cooperating. You might see people at the side of the road changing a tire, carpenters building a house, store employees helping each other, or two people hauling a load together. Talk about the cooperative aspect of their jobs and how tasks can be much easier when people work together.

Relevant Scripture

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him – a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

A tale of two squirrels

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This is a true story, but with names changed and some imaginative touches added. Feel free to further reinvent the tale to make it more interesting for your children.

A tale of two squirrels

Once there was a squirrel family with two children in it – a brother squirrel and a sister squirrel. Momma squirrel needed help storing food for winter, so she asked Brother and Sister to collect pinecones while she travelled farther into the woods to collect some hazelnuts.

For about an hour the young squirrels worked hard gathering cones from an evergreen tree near their home. Brother tossed the cones down from the high branches and Sister ran to collect them and put them in their winter storage pile.

Just as they were growing a little bored with the work, Brother hit Sister on the head with a pinecone – and she didn’t like it one bit! She didn’t wait to ask if it had been an accident. Instead, she ran straight up the tree trunk and out onto the branch where Brother sat. Then she bit his tail hard!

As you can imagine, Brother was shocked and angry. He chased Sister around the tree trunk. Around and around they ran, pausing every so often to listen for the chattering of the other one. The more they chattered at each other, the faster they ran up and down and around and around the tree.

“Chhhh! Chhhh! You have a fluffy tail,” Brother mocked.

“Your fur is an ugly colour,” Sister screeched back.

This continued for the entire afternoon. The squirrel children knew they would be in trouble for getting nothing done, but neither one was willing to say sorry and begin cooperating again.

Six-year-old Jackson and his older sister, Olivia, were in their backyard raking leaves. As they worked, they watched the squirrels. When their father came out to check on their work, the children pointed to the funny, squabbling squirrels. Their father started laughing.

“Can you guess what their mother is going to say when she comes back?” he asked Olivia and Jackson.

Olivia and Jackson thought back to something that had happened the day before, when Olivia and Jackson had been arguing over their chores. They always argued over chores – about who had to do what, who was working harder, and who was working faster. But this time, their mother had timed their argument. They had argued for seven minutes about who should pick up some spilled beads!

Olivia had demanded that Jackson pick the beads up, since he had knocked them off the table. Jackson said it was Olivia’s fault for not tidying the beads away.

Remembering the argument, Jackson answered, “I think the mother squirrel might say something like Mom said to us yesterday.”

“And what was that?” asked his dad.

Olivia recalled and repeated her mom’s statement: “You’ve wasted so much time arguing, you could have had that job done already.”

The silly squirrels were still chasing each other when Momma squirrel returned. “Chhhh! Chhhh!” Momma squirrel scolded.

Jackson was distracted by the squirrels and dropped the bag that Olivia was loading leaves into. The leaves spilt all over the ground. Before either of the children could blame the other and start fighting, their dad started making the squirrel’s noise.

“Chhhh! Chhhh!”

Both kids started laughing, and suddenly they were all throwing leaves at each other.

“Chhhh! Chhhh!” their dad said, imitating the squirrels again.

“Don’t pretend we’re squirrels, Dad!” begged Jackson. They heard more laughter coming from the direction of the house. It was their mother coming out to join them.

“I won’t call you squirrels,” she said, “unless I see or hear you acting like cheeky rodents again.”

After tossing some leaves at their mom, Olivia and Jackson worked with their parents to load all the leaves into the bag.

What do you think Olivia and Jackson’s parents said the next time the children started to fight instead of work?

Mirror gazers and window gazers

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Any time we become overly focused on ourselves (either thinking too highly of ourselves or negatively about ourselves), we lose our focus on God. Both viewpoints – pride and insecurity – take God out of the picture. This activity will give you a practical opportunity to help your children view themselves from a healthy, Biblical perspective.

You will need a mirror and a window that allows you to see outdoors, but also shows yourself reflected in the window pane. (You may find that this activity works best at dusk or after dark.)

Begin by having your children look at their reflection in a mirror. Next, ask them to look out the window. While they are comparing the two experiences, ask the following questions:

Questions for discussion
  1. Who do you see in the mirror?
  2. What do you like about what you see there?
  3. What do you like best about the way God made you?
  4. When you look through the window, whose reflection do you see?
  5. What else can you see through the window?
  6. Who made the ________? (Name some things your children can see out the window.)
  7. If all you did all day was sit around and gaze in the mirror, what would you be missing out on?

To further help your kids understand the futility of living a self-centered life, tell your children a modified version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. You can use the sample story below, or simply tell a story about a popular, controlling child.

Pearl learns to look beyond her mirror
There once was a pretty young girl named Pearl. Pearl always wore cute matching clothing or fancy dresses. Her long, shiny, brown hair was often curled, or pulled back with a fancy headband.

Pearl expected everyone to think she was special. She would ask her friends questions like, “Do you like my dress?” Or “Did you notice what my mom did with my hair today?” When she played dress-up or make believe games, Pearl would sometimes look in the mirror and say, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of us all?” Then Pearl would quickly answer, “Pearl is the fairest in the land! Come, charming prince, and hold my hand!”

And as you guessed, people did notice and admire Pearl.

Pearl thought the best way to get other kids to like her was to continually point out how wonderful she was. Somehow she convinced nearly all the other girls in her neighbourhood that she should be invited to everyone’s house to play, and to all the birthday parties. “Of course, a party wouldn’t be a party without Pearl,” she would say.

Sometimes Pearl would hear of a party she had not been invited to. She would tell all the girls who had been invited to tell the host of the party that they wouldn’t attend unless Pearl was invited too.

Week after week, Pearl received more invitations to parties and playdates than any other girl in town. No one knew why everyone continued to do exactly what Pearl wanted. Perhaps they admired her boldness, and underneath they wanted to be as powerful as Pearl was. Or maybe the girls were afraid that if they left Pearl out, she would get mad and make the other kids angry with them too.

Pearl was quite pleased with the situation and enjoyed the attention from all of her “friends.” All was going quite well in her life until a new girl moved into their neighbourhood.

Sarah, the new girl, didn’t have the nicest clothes and she didn’t have the best toys at her house, but Sarah smiled all the time! When Pearl and her mother would drive or walk by, Sarah always waved. Pearl began to notice that almost every day there were girls over at Sarah’s house, playing in the yard or out on the sidewalk on their scooters. Instead of seeing Sarah as a potential friend, Pearl began to see her as a threat to her own popularity.

Pearl would say things to the other girls like, “What fun can it be at Sarah’s house? She doesn’t have any really nice dolls to play with.” Or “Who would want to be friends with Sarah? She seems, well, kind of boring. No new clothes ever and stuff.”

One day Sarah asked Pearl to come over to her house for a playdate. Pearl almost said no, but underneath she really wondered what it was like inside Sarah’s house and why the other girls seemed to like her so much. So the next day, Pearl went over to play at Sarah’s house, as they had planned.

Although Sarah did not dress or act like a beauty queen, after playing with her for the afternoon, Pearl could see why the other girls enjoyed spending time at Sarah’s house. Pearl didn’t even have to try to make Sarah notice her: Sarah already treated Pearl as though she was special.

Sarah showed Pearl around the house and asked her what she liked to do. After they were tired of playing house, they sat in the kitchen and had a snack. Sarah’s mom asked Pearl some questions about school and then they all played a guessing game where they had to take turns guessing each other’s favourite foods, colours and activities. Sarah laughed a lot – not at anyone, just in a bubbly, friendly way. The time went by very quickly and Pearl was surprised when her mom arrived to pick her up.

On the drive home Pearl told her mother, “I want to be Sarah Lansdown.”

“Why would you want to be her?” Pearl’s mom exclaimed. “She has mousy hair, no style, and I thought you said her toys were boring and out-dated.”

“But Mom,” said Pearl, “she was really nice.”

“Nice won’t get you anywhere,” Pearl’s mom replied.

Pearl tried to explain what made Sarah so different. “It was like she really liked me, Mom. I felt happy at her house. I’d like to live there. I’d like to have Sarah’s life.”

Now, if you like, you can invite your children to finish telling the story.

Questions for discussion
  1. Why do you think Pearl acted the way she did?
  2. Did Pearl spend life looking in the mirror, or looking out the window?
  3. How about Sarah?
  4. Which girl would you prefer to have as a friend?
  5. Who taught Pearl to worry about what others thought of her?
  6. What did Pearl learn from Sarah?
  7. What do you think made Sarah different from other girls that Pearl knew?
  8. How did Sarah make other girls feel special?
  9. Which girl honoured God?
Key concepts

When we look in a mirror, all we see is our own reflection. We cannot see through the mirror to see other people, or the world around us. God wants us to enjoy being the way He made us, but He doesn’t want us to be so focused on ourselves that we don’t care about other people.

If we look out a window, we can still see our own reflection in the glass; however, we also see other people and the world around us.

God made people, animals, grass, trees, hills and mountains for us to enjoy. When we consider God as the maker of the universe and realize that we are just a small part of all creation, we are less tempted to be self-centered. Seeing life this way means we will be more interested in honouring God by sharing His love with others, than we will be in catering to ourselves.

If someone thinks only about themselves, they miss out on the joy of caring for others and enjoying healthy relationships. Friendships where everything revolves around one person’s needs are sometimes called “one-sided,” like a mirror. Healthy relationships are “two-sided,” meaning the people involved care about pleasing each other, not just themselves.

Mirror gazers (a self-centred perspective)

“Life is all about me, getting what I want and having fun.”

“The more I have, the better I look, the smarter I am, the more athletic I am, then the more popular and the more valuable I am.”

“The goal of life is to be happy.”

Window gazers (a Biblical perspective)

“Life is all about sharing Jesus’ love through caring about and serving others.”

“I am valuable because God made me.”

“The goal of life is to honour God.”
Relevant Scripture

Philippians 2:4 “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Hebrews 3:3 “Jesus has been found worthy of greater honor than Moses, just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself. For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.”

Acts 17:24-25 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He Himself gives all men life and breath and everything else.”

“I love you this much” game

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Use this fun, creative exercise to assure your children of your love for them. To play, follow the example below, taking turns coming up with words ending in “er” to explain the magnitude of your love:

Mariah: Do you know how much I love you?

Mommy: No.

Mariah: I love you bigger than an elephant. I love you cuter than a little puppy. I love you taller than the tallest mountain. I love you more green than spring grass. And I love you whiter than the snow. Now do you know how much I love you?

Mommy: Oh, yes! Do you know how much I love you?

Mariah: No.

Mommy: I love you faster than a galloping horse. I love you blue-er than your eyes. I love you more tumbly than when you do cartwheels. I love you more beautiful than sunrises, sunsets and rainbows. I love you squishier than our rubber animals. Now do you know how much I love you?

Mariah: Yes!

Mommy: Do you know how much Jesus loves you?

Mariah: No.

Mommy: This is how much Jesus loves you: He says, “I love you higher than the sky and as deep as the sea. I love you longer than the longest car ride you have ever been on! I love you with love wider than the ocean (extend your arms as though your hands are nailed to a cross). I love you so much that I died on the cross so that you could be My child.” Now do you know how much Jesus loves you?

Mariah: Yes! He loves me a lot!

Relevant Scripture

John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”

Ephesians 3:16-19 “I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

Love letter of affirmation

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Most kids love to get a letter in the mail. In this activity, you’ll take time to write each of your children a letter, affix a stamp and post it.

Paul wrote Philippians and Corinthians as letters to two churches, assuring them of his belief that their faith in Christ would grow, and that God’s power in them would provide all they would need for the kind of righteous living that would bring honour to Him. As you write your letters to your children, you may want to pattern the letters after Paul’s example. Here are two ideas:

Dearest ________,

We thank God every time we think of you. In all our prayers for you, we always pray with joy because of your willingness to learn about God and your desire to live to honour Him. We are sure that God will continue to help you grow up into a young man / woman who loves and pleases Him. We love you and Jesus loves you!

Our prayer for you is that as you get to know God better and better each day, you will love Him even more. We also ask God to send His Holy Spirit to help you make choices that will please God so your life brings glory and praise to Him.

With love,
Mom and Dad

P.S. Our letter is based on Philippians 1:3-11.

 

Dearest ________,

Sometimes it’s easy to think that we are pretty good just as we are and that we don’t need God. No matter how good you think you are, please remember that all our righteousness comes from God! Our prayer is that others will look at you and the way you live your life and see that you are the way you are because you love Jesus.

There is no need to worry about whether or not others think you are perfect! What matters is that others see that you are allowing God’s Holy Spirit to change you to be more like Him each day. We pray that others would see God’s love in you and decide that they want to get to know Jesus too!

With love,
Mom and Dad

P.S. Our letter is based on 2 Corinthians 3:1-6.

Relevant Scripture

Psalm 89:2 “I will declare that Your love stands firm forever, that You established Your faithfulness in heaven itself.”

Romans 8:37-39 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”