Day-starter praise

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Sing the song This Is the Day That the Lord Has Made (or another suitable song) as a wakeup call or at breakfast each day. The lyrics to This Is the Day are widely available on the Internet.

You can also sing this song together at any time of day; it’s a great reminder when children are tempted to be ungrateful. As you sing the song, modify the verse by adding things or people you are thankful for. For example:

This is our family (2x)
Whom the Lord has given (2x)
Let us rejoice (2x)
And be glad with them. (2x)

Radio frequencies

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While listening to the radio, intentionally tune the radio poorly. Then use the following questions to initiate discussion.

Questions for discussion
  • Is it enjoyable to watch or listen when things are not tuned correctly? Why not?
  • When you are communicating with others, are they always tuned-in to your communication?
  • Does this make communicating with them easy or difficult?
  • Can you hear what one DJ is saying if you are tuned-in to another frequency?
  • How can we tune-in to what God wants to tell us?
  • How do we tune out the things that Satan wants us to believe?

To further develop this concept, ask your kids to list some things Satan would want them to believe and compare their answers with what God says instead (i.e. Satan says it is OK to lie if it is only a small lie. What does God say?) Close your time by praying and asking God to help you tune in to His voice.

Name that tune

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Have your children listen to music, then ask them to identify the song. Use a CD player, or play songs on a musical instrument. If you are driving in the car, hum familiar songs or listen to a CD.

Candid camera

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Doe your children often defend their inattentiveness with the excuse, “But I didn’t hear you”? This activity will help remind your children not to “tune you out.”

Surreptitiously video each child while your spouse, friend or relative is making a request. Capture examples of each child ignoring the request. Try to capture occasions when your children were quick to hear and obey, too. (Alternatively, make an audio recording. Small hand-held tape recorders for grocery lists and other reminders are available for minimal cost.)

After recording, play the conversations back to your kids. Discuss what they did right, and how they can respond more promptly in the future.

Living in love

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Following the directions of Luke 17:3, come up with a variety of scenarios whereby your children can practice “speaking the truth in love.” Here’s an example:

First question: “Let’s pretend another child has grabbed the toy you were playing with right out of your hands. What should you say to this boy or girl?”
Answer: “That wasn’t nice to grab the toy out of my hands. May I have the toy back please?”

Second question: “If the girl/boy will not give the toy back, what should you do?”
Answer: “Go and find an adult and explain the situation.”

Third question: “If the girl or boy apologizes, what should you say to them?”
Answer: “I forgive you. Thank you for giving my toy back. Would you like to play with it when I am done?”

Relevant Scripture

Luke 17:3 “So watch yourselves. ‘If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.’ ”

God’s sponge

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Where there are children, there will be spills, be it food, milk or water. Take advantage of a “spill” that takes place in your home by telling your children about “God’s sponge.”

As you are cleaning up the mess, equate the spill with someone doing something wrong – something that hurts you. Use an example that your children will relate to, such as name calling, teasing, pushing or taking a toy without permission.

Explain how to respond in these situations by conveying the following message:

What we do in response to the wrongdoing – the “spill” – is our choice. One option is to splash the spill back into the face of the one who has done wrong. This is like trying to make someone “pay” for the wrong they have done.

The other choice is to get out “God’s sponge” and quietly wipe up the mess without making the other person feel bad about hurting us. Forgiveness happens when the person apologizes for doing wrong and we forgive them. Grace happens when we forgive a person who does not acknowledge that they have done wrong. God offers us both grace and forgiveness.

Relevant Scripture

Nehemiah 9:17 “…But You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. …”

1 Thessalonians 5:15 “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Blessing instead of cursing

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Have your children practice thinking of a blessing they can say when other children say or do unkind or hurtful things. Then when these things do happen, your children will be more prepared to bless instead of “curse,” helping them to fulfil 1 Peter 3:9 which states: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

In difficult situations, have your children pray for the person who they need to forgive and also say good things about them. Gently remind your children that they are being like Jesus when they forgive the other person – even when the other person hasn’t asked for forgiveness.

Read Romans 12:21: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Let your children know that when they “bless and do not curse,” they are overcoming evil and winning the battle against Satan, who would prefer them to curse the other person.

The tale of two families

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While driving or waiting in a line up, tell this story while making modifications to draw maximal interest from your children:

A day at the park

One family had children named Me First, Gimme the Biggest and That’s My Toy. The second family had kids named Go Ahead, You Have It and It’s Your Turn. At the park, Me First shoved to the front of the line all the time. At snack time, Gimme the Biggest took the largest chunk of puffed wheat square, leaving almost none for the other kids. That’s My Toy wouldn’t share any of his sand toys with the others.

These kids went home early from the park because their mother was tired of intervening in the trouble they caused and stopping their fights. When they left, everyone at the park felt like cheering (although they didn’t because they knew this would be rude). The kids in the other family had a wonderful time at the park.

Go Ahead let others go in front of her at the slide. You Have It passed around his snack of oatmeal cookies to the other kids in the park. It’s Your Turn delighted the other children by sharing his new sand rocket. When they were going to leave, the other children at the park begged them to stay as they had made everyone else’s afternoon at the park so enjoyable.

The lesson to emphasize is that the outcome of the greed in one family is misery. In the second family, their generosity blesses others, and everyone enjoys spending time with them. After the story, use the questions that follow to create dialogue with your children. You can tell a similar story and change the setting if your children would relate more to a family visiting the circus, going shopping, at the swimming pool or even Disneyland. James 3:13-16 can also be reviewed to give a Biblical perspective.

Questions for discussion
  • Which child in the story would you like to play with?
  • Which child in the story would you like to be like?
  • Have you ever seen any of these kinds of kids at the park?
  • If so, which ones?
  • Would you want to be a part of a family that is full of envy and selfish ambition or full of peace and consideration for others?
Relevant Scripture

James 3: 13-16 “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every evil practice.”

Sharing as a habit

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During meals and while you are visiting with others, model how to share treats and be specific about encouraging your children to share.

Some fun ideas include:

  • Sharing your dessert with your spouse or children and say something like, “This ________ is so much sweeter because I shared it with you.”
  • A family tradition you could start is that when treats, desserts, etc. are given out, whoever divides the treat allows the other to choose which part of the treat they would like. For example, one child breaks the chocolate bar in half, then lets the other choose which half they would like.
  • Demonstrate sharing without being asked. Provide extra treats for your children to take when going on outings with friends so they can practice sharing and being generous.
Questions for discussion

While driving, use these questions for conversation starters:

  • How do you feel when someone else has a treat and you don’t?
  • How do you feel when someone is playing with a neat toy and does not share it?
  • How does it make you feel when someone shares a special treat with you?
  • How about when someone gives you first choice of which toy to play with?

Tone and expression matter

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This game works well while driving in the car. Speak a phrase and have your kids tell you if your tone is harsh or gentle. For example, say “Please stop doing that,” in a variety of ways. Let your kids give you feedback on whether or not they would like to be spoken to that way.

Let the game lead into a discussion about tone of voice and how people are more willing to listen when we speak gently.

Questions for discussion

Use the following questions to help your children think about they should aim to speak to others:

  • How would you like me to ask you to put away your toys?
  • How should a parent tell a child that it is time to go home when the child is having fun visiting at a friend’s house?
  • What should you say when you want a treat and I don’t give you one?
Relevant Scripture

Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Proverbs 16:21 “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.”