Communication capers – the cow and the parrot

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Begin by sharing the following knock-knock joke with your kids:

First person: “Knock, knock.”

Second person: “Who’s there?”

First person: “Interrupting cow.”

Second person begins to say: “Interrupting cow, who?” but is interrupted part-way through when the first person says, “Moo!”

Help your children to understand that although this joke is funny, it is not funny when we interrupt others in daily conversation. Continue the lesson by modelling two conversations between you and your spouse, or involving another adult.

In the first conversation, have one person behave like the “interrupting cow,” continually interrupting the other person. The second conversation, however, should demonstrate good listening skills. Ask your children to point out the differences between the two conversations. Emphasize that good listening skills involve facing the speaker and looking at them with undivided attention.

Introduce this next exercise by explaining that you want your children to communicate like a parrot, and not like an “interrupting cow.” Point out that people train parrots to talk by rewarding them for repeating back phrases spoken by their trainer. Explain that, like the parrot, your kids can show they have listened well by repeating back what someone has just said. Then introduce this “game” that allows your children to practice being “parrots” by reflecting back what others say. Take turns being the one who speaks first and the one who “parrots.”

Here are some examples for you to begin with:

Dad: “Please do up your seat belts before I start driving.
Child: “What I heard you say, Dad, was that you want us to do our seat belts up as soon as we get in the car.”

Child: “It would be nice to have hamburgers for supper tonight.”
Mom: “I think you are asking for hamburgers for supper tonight. Is that right?”

Mom: “I’m exhausted. While you were at school, I bought the groceries, paid some bills and met with ________.”
Child: “Are you tired from the all the running around you have done?”
Mom: “Yes. Thank you for listening.”

To further reinforce good listening skills say, “I think I can smell a cow!” whenever you notice your child interrupting. (Or create a similar gentle reminder.) Likewise, when your child “parrots” back what you have said, affirm them and let them know that you prefer the “parrot” over the “cow.”

Relevant Scripture

Proverbs 10:19 “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”

Proverbs 18:13 “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and shame.”

Blind courage

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For this activity, you will need to prepare beforehand by doing some research at your library or online to find some resources on guide dogs for the blind. Begin by asking your children your choice of the following questions:

Questions for discussion
  • Would you jump into a swimming pool with your eyes closed?
  • How would you feel if I asked you to jump into a lake, but you couldn’t see the bottom?
  • Would it make it easier for you to jump into the lake if I were in the water to catch you?
  • How do you feel when you walk into a dark room?
  • Is it easier to enter a dark room if someone you trust goes into the room first?
  • Imagine you are camping in a tent in the woods. How would you feel after it gets dark? What would you think about while you are trying to go to sleep in your tent?
  • Would you feel better if a parent was in the tent with you?
  • All of these situations have something in common. Do you know what it is?

Explain that in each of the scenarios described above, there is a temptation to be afraid because you cannot see the bottom of the lake, or into a dark room, or what is in the bushes near your tent. This is often called “the fear of the unknown.” When we cannot see our surroundings well enough to be sure we are safe, it is easy to become afraid.

Ask your children to close their eyes and imagine what it would be like if they were unable to see at all. While their eyes are still closed, explain that some people live their whole lives not able to see, because they are blind. They were either born without the ability to see, or became blind later in life.

Take time to read a book or watch a video or DVD on guide dogs for the blind.

Now link the experiences you discussed earlier to a blind person’s life experience. Explain that because a blind person trusts their guide dog, they can find the courage to go for a walk, cross the street or go shopping. Any of these everyday activities would be frightening for a blind person to do alone, but with their dog to guide them, they are safer.

Read your choice of the verses provided below and summarize by reviewing the key points. Once again, ask your children what they are afraid of and then close by praying that God would give them the courage to trust Him even when they are afraid.

Key concepts

Wherever we go and whatever we do, we can take comfort in knowing God is with us. God knows what is under the water at the lake, and what might lurk in the darkness. We can find the courage to face frightening situations, because the God who controls the whole the universe is watching over us and caring for us. Just as the guide dog “sees” for the blind person, God can see what we cannot see and He will watch over us. We need to learn to trust God, as the blind person trusts their guide dog. Whenever we are afraid, we can ask God to remind us that He is always with us, guiding and looking out for us.

Relevant Scripture

Psalm 121:7-8 “The Lord will keep you from all harm – He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

John 14:1 [Jesus said,] “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me.”

Proverbs 15:3 “The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.”

Letter from God

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Read this pretend “letter from God” to your children. Much of it is based on the story of Hezekiah, which is found in 2 Chronicles 32. The “P.S.” portion of the letter refers to some specific fears. Use the P.S. to address each child’s greatest fear. When you are finished, you can use the additional Bible verses provided below to pray God’s protection over your children.

Dear ________ and ________,

There are scary things in this world and I understand when you are scared. It is okay to be scared, but when you are scared, I want you to tell Me about it. Jesus was a little boy once too. When He was scared He had His dad on earth to comfort Him, but He also had a bigger Dad in heaven watching over Him. I am your Father in heaven and I watch over you just as I did Jesus. I am the God of the universe and I promise to go before you, to be with you wherever you go. I will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:8).

I want to tell you a little story: Once upon a time, there was a man named Hezekiah who was the leader of My people, the people of Israel. There was a huge army coming against them and it seemed there was no way they could win the battle. But Hezekiah trusted Me and he encouraged his people with these words, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles” (2 Chronicles 32:7-8). Be confident My children, because when you fight battles with Me on your side, there is no way you can lose.

Oh yeah, I bet you want to hear the end of the story about Hezekiah and the Israelites. Well Sennacherib, the king of Assyria, started mocking the Israelites saying, “Blah, blah, blah… Don’t believe Hezekiah when he tells you God will take care of you. Look at all the other nations we have conquered. No god was able to beat my army and me. We’re the big guns and not even your god is gonna beat us!”

Hezekiah and the people were scared, but instead of surrendering they prayed and asked Me for help. Sennacherib kept mocking Me, and all the Israelites too. I sent an angel who destroyed all of Sennacherib’s soldiers, leaders and officials. So Sennacherib went home defeated and left the Israelites alone. Pretty cool story, don’t you think?

The Israelites felt extremely small, weak and helpless when they saw that big army coming against them. My children, when you feel small, weak or scared, remember to praise Me because feeling weak can remind you that I will be your strength and your fortress (Psalm 59:17). I am your loving Father in heaven.

Here is a verse to remember when you are scared. Psalm 118:6-7 says, “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? The Lord is with me; He is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.” Promise Me that when you are afraid, you will trust in Me!

My children, I did not give you a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). Any time you need My Spirit, just ask and I will be there for you. I am telling you the same thing I told Joshua, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

Love forever,

God

P.S. I AM bigger than the boogeyman or anything else that might be lurking in your closet.

[Alternative P.S.] And about the dying thing: Many grownups are afraid of dying too. It’s normal to be scared of dying because it means going somewhere you haven’t been before. But you don’t have to worry about dying. Imagine that you had never been to __________(name a favourite family vacation spot) before. When your mom and dad said, “We are going to a wonderful place where there will be lots of cool things to do,” you might not have wanted to go somewhere different, and even a bit scary. But remember how when you got to __________ (that favourite family vacation spot), you were so glad you made the trip. Heaven is going to be a lot like _________ (that beloved family holiday location), except there will be no crying or pain, and I will wipe away every tear from your eyes (Revelation 21:4).

Relevant Scripture

Proverbs 29:25 “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”

Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

John 10:27-29 “My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of My Father’s hand.”

Psalm 46:10 “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’ ”

The gracious hand of God

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While driving in your vehicle or at another quiet time, have your children list some things they are afraid of. After they have listed some fears, let them know you are going to tell them a story about a man named Ezra who had to take a scary trip. Your story can include all or part of the summary provided below (taken from Ezra, chapters 7-8).

Once upon a time, a man named Ezra had to go on a lengthy journey through places where robbers and bandits lurked. Just how did Ezra get himself into such a scary situation? It all started a long, long time ago.

Ezra lived at a time when the people of Israel had been taken captive and were living in a foreign land. In this other country, they were forced to serve the king of the land. After the Israelites had lived for many years in this foreign land, God decided to allow the Israelites to return to Jerusalem, their special city where they had lived before being taken captive. The Israelites wanted to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem so they could worship God there again.

A man named Artaxerxes was king at that time and the Bible says that “The king had granted him [Ezra] everything he asked, for the hand of the Lord his God was on him.” King Artaxerxes gave permission for Ezra and anyone else to return to Jerusalem. He also sent gold and silver along with Ezra and instructed him to buy rams and bulls to offer to His God as a sacrifice in Jerusalem. Artaxerxes also sent a letter with Ezra telling the governors of the areas where Ezra was going to give Ezra more money, wheat and oil and salt if he needed it. The king also told Ezra that it was his job to teach all of the other Israelites to follow God’s laws as he did.

Ezra knew this was a big job and that the journey to Jerusalem would be dangerous. Ezra and the men going with him were also taking their wives and children and all that they owned. They did not travel in cars, but in wagons and on foot. The journey would take a long, long time and along the roads there could be thieves waiting to steal their possessions or enemies waiting to hurt them.

Even though the journey would be scary, Ezra praised God anyway and thanked Him for the honour of serving Him. Ezra also said, “Because the hand of the Lord my God was on me, I took courage and gathered leading men from Israel to go up with me” (Ezra 7:28).

Ezra was tempted to ask the king for soldiers to protect them on their journey, but he was ashamed to do so, because he had told the king that God would take care of them (Ezra 8:22). Instead of asking for soldiers, they fasted and prayed and asked God to protect them on their journey. And God did! The Bible tells us that Ezra and his men and their families did arrive safely in Jerusalem. Ezra said, “The hand of our God was on us, and He protected us from enemies and bandits along the way.”

Questions for discussion
  • What do kids do when they feel afraid?
  • Do you feel safer when you are alone, or when you are with your parents?
  • Have you ever been in a scary place?
  • Has God ever given you a job to do?

Read Matthew 28:18-20 (see below).

  • What important job did Jesus give His disciples?
  • Does Jesus expect us to do this job too?
Key concepts

Often when children are frightened, it makes them feel better to hold their mom or dad’s hand. This is similar to what Ezra did. Ezra often said, “The gracious hand of God is on us.” Just as kids feel safer with an adult they trust, Ezra knew he was safe when he was following God. God did keep Ezra and His people safe. He will take care of us when we ask Him to as well.

Just before Jesus left to go back to heaven, He gave his disciples a job very similar to Ezra’s job. Jesus told His disciples that they were to go and tell everyone how to obey everything Jesus had taught them. Then He reminded them that He would be with them forever! The job and the promise Jesus gave to His disciples is for all Christians. We can be confident, even when we are afraid, because we know that God will always be with us.

  • Return to the list of things your children said they were afraid of. List each one and then have your children say this rhyme with you:
    I’m not afraid!
    I’ve got it made!
    With Jesus by my side,
    I say to fear, “Bye! Bye!”
  • Use the rhyme to encourage your children to trust God when they are afraid. In the future, when your children are fearful, you can affirm them by telling them that the “gracious hand of God” is on them, just like it was on Ezra.
Relevant Scripture

Matthew 28:18b-20 “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Faithfulness can mean sacrifice

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Encourage your children to look for ways they can make sacrifices for friends and family members. For younger children, this can mean giving up treats or toys. Thank God for providing for you and your family, and ask Him to help you all to be faithful friends who are willing to share ________ (name your children’s favourite toys or foods) with others. Use the questions for discussion listed below while driving or at mealtime.

Questions for discussion
  • Do you have a favourite food or snack that is hard for you to share?
  • Who could you share it with?
  • Did you see anyone who needed you to make a sacrifice for them today?
  • What did you do?
  • What could you have done?

Sing to the Lord another new Psalm

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Read through Psalm 136 and have your children say “God’s love goes on forever,” every time you pause at the end of each verse. Then have them list ways God shows your family that His love goes on forever. After listing ways that God is faithful, read through your list, creating your own Psalm of praise by having your children say, “God’s love goes on forever,” each time you pause. Pray together, thanking God for His faithfulness. You may even choose to put your Psalm to music. Then, you can really sing a psalm, praising God for His faithfulness (Colossians 3:16).

Relevant Scripture

Psalm 136:1 “…His love endures forever.”

Colossians 3:16 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.”

A faithful son / daughter

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Read 1 Corinthians 4:2 and explain that Jesus trusted the apostles with the Gospel message. The disciples proved faithful in sharing it or we wouldn’t know about the Good News of knowing God as a friend and as our Saviour. Emphasize how glad we are that they were faithful to do what God asked them to do! Because the disciples were faithful to preach the Gospel message, we can know that when we confess our sins and accept God’s forgiveness, we can spend eternity with Him.

Next, choose a small task you can trust each child to do. This may include putting fruit into the fridge drawer after a grocery trip, straightening couch cushions or picking up toys. Ask them to do their assigned task and get a verbal agreement from them that they will in fact do it. When they complete the task, encourage them by thanking them for being faithful to do what they have said they will do. Throughout the time of your study of faithfulness, continue to trust them with more age-appropriate responsibilities.

Relevant Scripture

1 Corinthians 4:2 “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust, must prove faithful.”

To further the learning, while you are driving or working around the house, tell your children a story about a young boy or girl who proved to be trustworthy as he/she grew up. Modify it to suit your family situation. Here is a sample story:

Once, there was a young boy named Bryce who took great joy in being faithful to complete the small jobs his parents asked him to do. When he was three years old, Bryce started putting his dirty clothes in a laundry basket. At four, he was able to sweep the floor, and at five, he was unloading the dishwasher. By six, Bryce could help make pancakes for special family breakfasts. At seven, he began to take out the garbage. And by eight, he was keeping his own room clean!

As he grew in size, Bryce also grew in faithfulness. He was trustworthy with all of the responsibilities his parents gave him.

When he was nine, Bryce was ready to use a knife and help his parents cut food for family meals. At ten, he was folding and putting away all of his own laundry and was cleaning his own bathroom the next year. By the time he turned twelve, Bryce could be trusted to stay at home alone for short periods of time. Then, Bryce turned thirteen and started to care for his younger siblings when his parents went out.

In junior high school, Bryce’s parents didn’t need to nag him about homework, as he was faithful to complete it without being reminded. Finally, Bryce turned sixteen and was old enough to take his driver’s exam. When he passed the test, he was so excited! The one problem was that he did not own a car. A few weeks later, he wanted to drive to visit a friend and asked if he could borrow the family car.

Pause the story here and ask your children what you think his parents said. End the story with this conclusion:

Bryce’s father said, “I know your room is clean, your homework is done and you have completed the chores your mom asked you to do after school. You have been a faithful son for sixteen years, serving and obeying your mother and me. I know that I can trust you to make good decisions, even if other kids are being foolish. Here are the keys to my car. Please be home by six o’clock for supper.”

This is just one of many stories that can be told to illustrate that parents gain trust in their children when they are faithful and obedient.

Singing about acceptance

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Any time is a good time to reinforce learning through singing. Some helpful songs include the following: